Staying Married to a Business Owner
Most people looking to start a new business are told that they should make sure that they have the support of family and friends before starting their new venture. But what is this ‘support’ that your supposed to get? For all those spouses and partners of wannabe business owners, here are my tips on what to expect when you’re expecting a new business in the family.
Your partner will have way less time for you. Contrary to the dreams of cubicle-ridden desk-slaves, owning your own business does not allow you to set your own schedule. Not only will your spouse spend more time working, but they will spend time not working, thinking about work. If they do not do this, the business will fail.
You will become very jealous/angry/moody/stressed. This new ‘business’ is taking your partner from you, both mind and body, so it’s hard not to resent it. You also have to pick up more of the chores that used to be shared because your spouse has less time, leaving you more stressed. But if you want to be supportive, you generally try to keep those feelings to yourself. This usually manifests in moodiness. When it gets to anger is when you get in trouble.
Be interested in the business. If your spouse were completely obsessed with water polo, it would be wise for you to also find some interest in the game and share their love. The same goes for their business. Your spouse will want to talk about it all the time, so if you really want to be supportive (and not just fake it) you need to care. If you can’t manufacture any interest in your spouse’s company, seriously consider whether your relationship can weather not sharing a large portion of your spouse’s life.
Stop thinking about the good old days. You think that life was so much easier and less stressful before the business was opened, and maybe it was. But who cares? Lots of people own a business or even two and manage to juggle that and a home life. Rather than dwell on the past, gird yourself to the present and make the best of it. The human mind and body can adjust to almost anything.
Working from home does not mean they are available. Most people starting a new business work from home for a while. Often times the spouse thinks this means they have time for dishes, laundry, and errands. You will do your spouse a huge favor if you treat their time working from home like you would treat them if they were working from any office. Do not call often. Do not give them to-do lists.
Be a good listener. Expect your spouse to word vomit on you the moment you get in the door. You’ve been talking to co-workers all day while your spouse has been all alone. Being willing to listen and have yours spouse bounce things off of you will be the greatest help of all.