I Before We with Linwood Paul & Matt D'Amour of Subtle Distinctions
Self-awareness is the first step to the attainment of healthy relationships and effective leadership because it is only from a full cup that we can authentically give to others. This is one of the foundational ideas that the coaching offered by Matt D’Amour and Linwood Paul is based on and today we have them on the show as our guests to hear more about their philosophy.
Matt and Linwood are the Co-Founders of Subtle Distinctions, an integrative coaching community whose aim is to cultivate thoughtful leaders from the inside out. Matt and Linwood both speak with a huge amount of wisdom on the subject of personal development today, and we start our conversation on their ‘I before we before all’ framework. Matt and Linwood unpack this concept, highlighting the idea that we have to find our truth before we can effectively engage with others from a place of compassion and power. We talk about the misconception of seeing self-care as selfish, the debt-based system of giving from an empty cup, and the need to reframe boundaries as things that hold a space in which to grow rather than keep others out. Matt and Linwood also share their six pillars of health today, KPIs that we can use to be more self-aware and to treat ourselves better such as sleep, nutrition, breathing, and moving.
So for wise words on the subject of personal development as the entry point to agency, leadership, and relationships, tune in today.
Key Points From This Episode:
More agency and better relationships through the ‘I before we before all’ philosophy.
Why Matt and Linwood begin their relationship coaching with self-awareness.
What nourishing and being aware of the self involves.
How the ‘I before we before all’ concept fits into the Serenity Prayer.
Finding your truth and perspective on things by experiencing them for yourself.
Developing a personal strength first and only then focusing on compassion for others.
Misconceptions around viewing taking care of oneself first as selfishness.
Reframing a boundary as something to grow toward and expand within.
How trying to give when your cup is empty is a system based on debt.
Taking care of yourself first by living by the foundational six pillars of health.
Filtering the outside input we take in by seeing everything as food.
Knowing whether to do a thing or not by asking if it is enjoyable.
Tweetables:
“For you to have the most healthy relationship with yourself and with partners or your team is to do your best to come as whole as you can so that you are full and therefore have something to give.” — Matt D’Amour [0:04:55]
“What we can always change is ourselves and that’s why we start there.” — Linwood Paul [0:01:59]
“Having an experience with something is really the only way you can identify your own truth to that subject matter, to that person, to that thing, to that experience, and without it, it’s just somebody else’s idea.” — Matt D’Amour [0:08:49]
“We’ve got to create ourselves having a dynamic of self-awareness, a dynamic of a personal certainty that our power emanates from and from there go to empathy, sympathy, compassion.” — Linwood Paul [0:09:56]
“What do I do when I start focusing on I? Nutrition, hydration, sleep, thinking, breathing, and moving. That’s what we call our foundational six pillars of health.” — Matt D’Amour [0:16:28]
